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| Moaning about Maoming |
| 02.17.04 (9:30 pm) [edit] |
It's time for Maoming Lu's bar barons to face the music
Dear Bar and Club Owners of Maoming Lu,
We, your loyal patrons, have drunk, partied and eaten on the leafy south side of Maoming Lu for nearly a decade. We owe you much and wish you well. Please take the few suggestions below as advice from an old friend.
1. A Certain Kind of Lady
If you go to a bar in Shanghai you want a drink, right? If you go to a hairdresser in Shanghai you want aĦ Well, anyway the point is that the number of fair and feisty ladies in your hostelries and hangouts (and just outside them too) is becoming a bit disproportionate. Please, do your best to rid yourselves of some of these well-manicured mistresses of the night.
2. Traffic Traumas
It's 3.30am, and you're sitting in a stationary taxi 95 per cent plastered and dying for some dim sum. Meanwhile some guy with a megaphone and dark glasses is doing his best to cause a nocturnal traffic jam. Bar owners, please sort out your guanxi with the arms of the Luwan traffic law.
3. Seeing Red
"Yes, she's my girlfriend. Thank you, I think she's very beautiful too. No, she doesn't want a rose. Now get lost!" Call us uncharitable, moody, Scrooge-like - perhaps we are, but couldn't you use your influence to cull these jejune flower sellers a little? Maybe we could just have one 'No Flower Hawking' day a week. It drives us to distraction!
4. Busted!
Now we realise this is a little out of the hands of the humble bar owning proletariat, but if we do have to endure a two-week drought while the great and the good talk policy, then please Mr and Mrs Barman give us a nod the weekend before. There is nothing worse than turning up to a party at 3am all switched on and ready to rock, only to find a busted and bolted club.
5. Bloody Sunday
You said that you loved us! You promised us the world! We had a great night together! And then in the morning you weren't thereĦ Yes, bar and club owners of Maoming Lu, you always disappear before the sun gets high leaving us fuzzy-headed and in desperate need of a breakfast Bloody Mary. How about keeping it rolling for all the 24-hour party people who just can't fit all of your charms into one night time?
We hope you take these words to heart, Maoming Lu - and remember, we offer them with only the best intentions. While we may give you a hard time, we realise just how much we depend on you. Oh - and keep those drinks specials coming.
Yours faithfully,
Your Shanghai Patrons
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